My Psycho Clown
by Kingofreaks
Summary: A one shot Luaggie fic with some ocs Luan discovers Maggie is being bullied and decides she needs to put a stop to it. triggers for violence and homophobia


I read a fix recently that protrayed Luan add having psychotic tendencies and willing to go to extremes to protect her loved ones so I thought I would give it a shot hope you enjoy.

It was lunchtime and Julie, Jill, Jamie, and Jenny; Royal Woods' self-appointed mean girls were hanging out in their usual spot.

An alley behind the school, on one side the school itself on the other a brick wall; what it lacked in aesthetic it made up for in privacy.

Technically no one was supposed to be back there but Jquad, as they had everyone call them, didn't care.

It's where they gossiped and came up with their cruelest rumours.

Today's topic of discussion was gym class they'd suffered what could only be described as a humiliating dodgeball defeat.

Jamie the fiery tempered redhead of the group was taking the loud personally, "that Lynn Loud makes me so mad!"

Jill, a dirty blonde, who lived for causing drama and took every chance she could to wind up Jamie nodded, "Her and that little lap dog of her Margo!"

Jenny, a flat haired bottle blonde, was the quiet member of the group who stayed because she usually wasn't the one being picked on remained silent.

There brunette leader Julie was bored and saw potential in the situation, snickering she said, "Well you do know what they say about those two."

"What?" Jenny asked genuinely curious.

Looking around for effect knowing full well no one else ever entered the alley, she answered in a hushed tone, "I heard they're always the last ) out of the locker room for a reason."

Pouncing on it Jamie squealed, "You mean they're fags? Eewww!" She faked gagging pretending to stick her finger down her throat.

"They do play lacrosse, field hockey and roller derby I wouldn't be surprised if they aren't all gay." Jill was speaking directly to Jamie feeding her homophobia.

"Eewww don't say that," Jamie groaned, "Your going to make me throw up for real!"

Quietly Jenny risked a comment, "I don't know Lynn's a bit intense but Margo seems nice."

"Oooooh!," Julie said I an exaggerated way, "Does someone have a crush on Margo?"

The other girls turned on Jenny in sync snickering; Jill seeing an opportunity to be malicious, "Now that I think about it whenever we talk crushes your always mysteriously quiet."

Her face turning bright pink Jenny was to flustered to form a response.

"Its okay," Julie said in a sickly sweet tone, "Tell you what why don't I just go ask her if she likes you?"

It obviously was meant as a threat rather than a friendly favour, pretending she meant to follow through with it she acted as if she meant leave the alley.

The other three girls were staring at Julie, "What?", She asked ruefully, "Can't you take a joke."

Unexpectedly she was answered by a new voice from behind, "Are you telling jokes? I love jokes!"

Julie turned to see where the boisterous voice had come from and found an older girl whom must have approached quietly from the other side of the alley.

The strange girl was wearing the tackiest yellow checkered skirt and were those yellow knee high socks?

Julie wasn't impressed she started to ask the girl who she was but the girl had the audacity to cut her off.

"Wait I've got a great joke what did the little reptile girl wear on her head?"

The four eighth graders just glared at the outsider but she was undaunted, "A boa! Get it?" she proceeded to laugh at her own joke.

Jenny cracked a smile but when Julie glared at her, she quickly stopped.

Julie turned back to the newcomer and said: "I don't believe we've been introduced I'm Julie, this is Jill, that's Jamie and lastly Jenny; who are you?"

Still stuck on her comedy the girl spoke, "Tough crowd my sister Lana loved that joke maybe I should be shed the reptile humor from my repartee," giggling again she continued with a small bow, "I'm Luan Loud."

Julie pretended she didn't recognise the name, Jamie, however jumped in, "you're not related to that jockette Lynn Loud?" Jamie said in a less than complimentary tone.

Luan, however, didn't hear it or chose to ignore it because she smiled and replied, "As a matter of fact I am."

An uncomfortable silence followed Julie decided it was time for her to take charge of the situation, "If you're looking for your sister she's somewhere that's not here."

Though not particularly clever Jamie and Jill began to laugh backing up their queen bee.

Apparently unperturbed Luan said, "That's okay I'm not here to see Lynn I was actually looking for you."

This time Jill butted in, "If this is about Lynn's locker getting filled with guys boxers you're wasting your time there's nothing to tie us to it."

Shrugging Luan just laughed, "That's not why I'm here I know better than get Lynn's briefs in a twist she likes to handle her own problems."

Julie was unsure but thought Luan might be issuing a veiled threat on Lynn's behalf, "Okay," she said maintaining a cool head, "if your not here about Lynn what do you want from us."

"I'm glad you asked." Luan said addressing Julie, "I've heard from Lynn that you've been picking on my friend Maggie."

Tagging back in Jamie responded, "you're actually friend's with that emo freak? Why would a clown like you care about her?"

For the first time Julie noticed one of Luan's eyes begin to twitch Jamie had struck a nerve, interesting.

Keeping the smile plastered to her face Luan answered, "She's goth and were a bit more than just friends."

Jill's eyes went wide, "Oh my god Maggie is a dyke? That's prefect!"

This time both of Luan's eyes began to twitch through gritted teeth yet somehow still cheerful Luan spoke, "I came here hoping we could resolve this in a mature way."

Like a shark detecting blood in the water Julie saw her chance to strike and took it.

Mimicking Luan's cheerful voice Julie giggled, "You don't have to worry; we won't pick on little Maggie anymore you've shown us the light."

Jamie and Jill looked at there leader confused, and Jenny almost hopeful, Luan raised an eyebrow unconvinced.

Dropping her mimicry Julie said, "No now we're going to make her life a living nightmare and you just gave us the information we needed to do it."

Luan let out a defeated sigh and said, "I really hoped you'd be more sensible and that it wouldn't have to come to this."

Before Julie could ask what she meant by that Luan was a foot from her face.

Her smile had taken on a distinctly maniacal edge Julie watched as Luan raised her fist.

Julie closed her eyes and waited for the impact there was a blunt thud but as she opened her eyes she realized she hadn't been hit.

Instead Luan had swung backwards and struck herself in the eye, she did it again then in quick succession twice in the mouth.

Luan wobbled a bit it was obvious she wasn't pulling her punches as blood ran down her chin.

Julie gaped unsure of what to make of what she was baring witness to.

Luan moved on from her face to her ribs two jabs and she started to stumble back then fell to her knees.

Julie marveled this girl was clearly deranged; what could this self abuse possibly achieve.

The smile never having left her face Luan suddenly donned a terrified voice, "please stop," she begged sounding frightened, "I just wanted you to stop picking on Maggie."

Turning quickly Luan scraped her knee and fell on her face, crying she got up and began to run in the opposite direction.

Then as if nothing had happened Luan stopped and seemed to start speaking to herself, her smile finally fading, "How was the sound, I wasn't sure about using this equipment."

Following Luan's line of sight Julie saw a small goth girl sitting on the wall she was wearing a large pair of head phones and was holding something.

The young girl proved herself quite agile descending the wall with the help of a large concrete pole sliding between it and the wall; whatever she'd been holding was now in a bag around her shoulder.

Once down she approached Luan, giving her a thumbs up she took the head phones of and said, "It sounded okay from up there."

Nodding Luan undid a button on her blouse and removed an electronic device that ran up to her rubber daisy.

"Thanks Luce I owe you one sis." The smile returning to her face she relieved her younger sister of the shoulder bag.

Julie was getting annoyed she didn't like not being in on the joke, "What the hell are you two talking and who's little miss Manson?"

Looking at her sister Luan nodded," I can handle this."

Walking back to the brat pack Luan started opening her bag as well a monologuing, never a good sign, "You know life is all about perspective."

Jamie started to interupt but Luan held a finger to her lips then as if speaking to preschoolers, "Talking time is over its listening time now."

Luan began again, "Your parents probably see you as sweet little angels, but from what I've seen your just angry little girls with self esteem issues who take it out on others because you can."

"From your point of view on the other hand you probably think I'm some kind of disturbed masochist who should be locked up however," opening the bag Luan pulled out a camcorder, "From where my lovely sister and camera woman was sitting."

Hitting play Luan showed how the opposing angle appeared to show Julie beating up Luan; the sound was in fact prefect.

Watching the video Julie suddenly felt something she wasn't used to, fear, "Theres no way anyone is going to believe that's real!"

Though she said the words it was clear none of her friends believed her as they backed up a bit.

Turning off the camera Luan spit some blood on the ground the smirked, "Maybe they will maybe they won't but I'll leave you with this thought," pointing at her own face, "If this is what I'm willing to do to myself to protect Maggie imagine what I'd be willing to do to you?"

Jill, Jamie, and Jenny suddenly remembered they had somewhere else to be far away and abandoned there leader.

Stunned only for a moment Julie rushed off after them as Luan waved bye.

The two sisters finally alone in the alley looked at eachother.

Lucy examined her older sisters face evaluating the damage, "if you had told me what you were planning I could have gotten you some more realistic blood packs."

Luan looked back at Lucy confused; rubbing her face she asked, "blood packs?"

Realizing that the self-inflicted damage to Luan's face was real, a smile formed on Lucy's face.

"Have I ever told you that you're hardcore?" Lucy asked beginning to appreciate Luan in a whole new light.

"You know it little sis," Luan said while wincing and holding her cheek.

Noticing her older sisters obvious discomfort Lucy asked? "Would you like me to go get a cold compress from the nurses office?"

"That would be very ice of you," Luan joked laughing at the pun, then looking at her phone, "but no, I've got ten minutes to get back to school and that's going to be pushing it."

Luan checked that her camera equipment was safely stowed; then grabbing Lucy in a quick hug and giving her a peck on head she took off at speed.

Lucy watched her sister sprinted out of view; she considered finding one or more of her siblings to discuss how Luan was actually kind of cool but decided that this was a story that should remain between the two of them at least for now.

Looking around to make sure she wasn't being observed she walked over to a duct on the wall and retrieved something she'd placed before school.

It was a micro spy camera that she'd 'borrowed' from her sister Lisa, syncing it with her cellphone she downloaded the data it contained.

She scrolled through the video to what she was looking for and pressed play, a wicked grin crossed her face as she watched Luan punching herself in the face.

As she saved the video to her phone she remembered something Lola had told her; the fewer people that knew a secret the more valuable it became.

Though she had no immediate intention to extort her older sister, Lucy decided that it was best to hold onto the file for an unbearably sunny day.

After witnessing such a romantic act she decided she wanted to be around a mortal she wasn't completely averse to.

She walked off deciding to let the cold hand of fate choose whether she spent the rest of lunch with Rocky or Silas.

As Maggie walked out of school she was feeling less sullen than usual.

Jquad had been suspiciously quiet it may mean they were planning something particularly cruel later but it had allowed her the peace to finish an art project she was working on.

Her eyes lit up as she saw a familiar face waiting for her out by the parking lot.

As she walked briskly towards her girlfriend she suddenly became concerned: Luna was sporting a black eye as well as a fat lip.

Reaching Luan before she could say anything she gingerly reached out and ran her fingers over her jester's swollen lip.

"My goth Luan what happened to you?" Allowing genuine concern to sneak through her usual cool demeanor.

Luan cringed at Maggie's touch but ignored the pain, "Nothing to be concerned about just some slapstick that went a-rye!" A piece of bread appeared in her hand.

Maggie shook her head derisively, "Really Lu? That's whole grain, how long have you been working on that one?"

"Just since midday break I guess I will have to work on my comedic launch! Get it?" Luan asked while laughing at her lunch pun.

Maggie, however, hadn't heard Luan, upon seeing Jquad walking towards them from across the parking lot she had tensed up.

Realizing her girlfriend's sudden discomfort she followed her line of sight and upon seeing antagonists she simply put on her widest smile raised her arm and waved her fingers at them.

Maggie began to relax as she watched her tormentors turn suddenly turn tail and begin walking the other way.

"That's funny," Maggie mused aloud to herself.

"What's funny?" Luan asked excitedly, "You know I'm all about the funny!"

Looking back to Luan, Maggie shrugged, "Sorry dear not funny ha-ha, funny odd; I could swear those girls live in the opposite direction."

"Maybe they're planning a long walk off a short pier?" Luan said it in her usual light manner but there was just the hint of an edge to it.

Maggie however missed it as she burst into a genuine fit of giggles.

Watching her unabashed dark one act in such a manner of course caused Luan to bust a gut as well.

When they both settled themselves Luan smiled and asked Maggie, "but seriously how was your day?"

Trying but failing to suppress her own smile Maggie took off her back pack retrieving a poster tube, "I was going to show you this later but because your here."

Pulling a canvas out she handed it to Luan then watched as she gingerly unfurled it and waited for her girlfriend's critique.

For a moment Luan just stared at the charcoal but eventually a wide grin spread across her face.

"Is this supposed to be me," she asked ecstatically pointing to the picture with one hand and holding it with the other.

Before Maggie had a chance to answer Luan was crushing her in a hug with her free arm.

Blushing almost nervously Maggie replied, "yes can I assume from this public assault that you approve because it is still kind of rough I could add more detail."

Luan's opinion of her artwork as well as in general was one of the few weak points in her carefully constructed walls.

"No don't," Luan suddenly shouted, then realizing she had spoken louder than she had intended and right next to her girlfriend's ear; she whispered, "it's perfect just the way it is, just like you."

Maggie's face went beet red at the compliment and wrapped her arms tightly around Luan; a warm sense of pride filling her body knowing Luan truly liked it.

"One thing though," Luan asked looking back to the work of art, "Does have a name?"

Maggie looked back at her creation thoughtfully.

The picture depicted Luan from the waist up dressed in classic jester regalia, she was wearing a tri-pointed hat with bells on each tip as well as frills with bells on each arm.

Her face was distorted by a manic smile much too large for a normal human, and her eyes were wide almost rabid.

Slung over one shoulder was a large double bladed axe with ominous droplets falling from it.

In her other hand, she held by its long hair a freshly severed head.

Nodding thoughtfully Maggie met Luan's and said, "I think I'll call it My Psycho Clown."

~ fin ~

Thanks for reading comments appreciated


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